I Am NOT An Elfling
by Ash19115
Summary: Ashley is just another anti-social, unimportant teenage girl. However, this all changes when she is suddenly flung into the time of the hobbit as an elfling, in a weird universe that cant decide wether its the book or the movie. Now in a confilict between kingdoms, all she wants is to go home, and maybe for someone to invent pizza already...mmmm pizza...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: i don't own they hobbit, lord of the rings, or any of the characters in them. I make no money by doing this. This is purely for entertainment purposes.

I. HATE. SCHOOL. I really do. I dislike sitting still for hours on end as people drone on about things you couldn't care less about. I hate the endless amount of homework they pack onto you. I hate it how anything you even remotely like is done so strenuously and badly that you loose all love of it. I hate lack of free time. I hate the endless amount of comitments. I hate most of the people. I hate the tests. I hate it how you are forced to do things you hate. And i hate it how even though it causes me so much pain, i still do it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed, at least not a lot of the time. Its just that there is so much more i want to do. I love my family and friends, my house and where i live. I love weekends and holidays. I love the idea that someday i will be free. But even then, i feel alone. Im a dreamer, i always have been and maybe i am just a bit insane. Books and music are my escape. I can read and pretend I'm there, that I'm someone else, that I'm happy. I can listen and be swept away by emotion, pretend its me making that amazing sound. I can sing, quite well, but I'm no madonna and I'm too shy to try to hard. Ive been in musicals and have singing lessons, but every time i sing for someone else, i feel like a failure.

Again, i sound depressed. I love my life, i really do, i am so lucky. Its just that i hate it too. Only sometimes, but, enough for me to feel out of place. Friends are hard, and low self esteem doesn't help. But i hide it, I'm a master at that. And even though i wish to be sonewhere, anywhere else, part of me doesn't, i would never abandon my family, never cause them that pain. But without them, well, that would be a different story.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: i don't own they hobbit, lord of the rings, or any of the characters in them. I make no money by doing this. This is purely for entertainment purposes.

You know that feeling of when your in bed and you feel like you're falling, but then you startle and am fine. Yeah well theres actually scientific reason for that, i don't remember it, but there is one. I do remember when i was little and didn't know it though, i used to pretend your soul would fly from your body while you were asleep sometimes, and when you got that felling, you woke up too soon, a second before it came back, and you would actually feel it fall back into you. Im an atheist and have been most of my life, but i still liked to pretend.

Well anyway, you know that feeling, well i do and i just got a very good reminder of what it feels like.

Epp! I silently cried abs my stomach dropped...I fell asleep! I missed dinner! Oh god, I didn't do my homework! I really needed to pee before and know i dont...ok, i didn't pee myself, thank god, if i did i would have died of embaressment. Ok next problem. WHERE THE HELL ARE MY COVERS! WHERE THE HECK IS MY BED! AND WHY THE BLOODY HECK AM I IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!...and why is my hair so long...?

Ok Ash, calm down. Ok. Now slowly re-open your eyes and look around. I take a deep breath, letting the cool, almost intoxicating air into my lungs. I am high up. On a mountain. Everything is covered in mist so i cant see far, but i see a light sprinkling of snow further off. My vision. I normally need glasses to see far off things, but everything is crystal clear. I gaze in wonder at the view around me. I am seriously weirdly calm for this situation. Breath. Ok. I can move my limbs. I look down. Arghhh! I mini scream. Wow my voice sounds amazing. Ouch. I need a drink. I silently examine myself. This can not be real. Im tiny. My now small feet are covered in little brown boots i don't own and sure as hell didn't wear to bed. My legs are thinner than i ever thought pissible. Im not severely over weight. But i am slightly over. Not anyonore. Not only am i the size of around a two year old. Im almost annorexic. My legs are covered in dark green leggings and they are so fragile looking I'm actually slightly scared. Im the definition of clumsy, i roll my ankles all the time, trip, bumping into things, wake up with bruises from just sleeping and am just generally always hurting myself. I normally don't worry as i was always big with a solid build. But now...

I move on i have a dress, also green, coming up to my knees, its thick but not heavy, and made well. My hips are tiny and narrow. My stomach goes innward. My d cup boobs have shrunk to non-existence and my arms are as thin and as fragile as my legs. Damn those are some nice elbows! Ok. Im insane. My hands are adorable, the once short, calloused, stubby fingers are now small, dainty and so damn cute. My nails are long, and though they are cute, i can tell they will be annoying. Should i risk chewing them off, or wait for something to cut them with? Egh, ill leave them. My hair. My once slightly longer than shoulder length, indecisive between black and brown, wavy/curly, frizzy, uneven, dry, split ended hair is now definitely not that. Its long, like Repunzel long, past my legs, though i am sitting down, and is now softer than , well, I've never felt silk ( that i can remember ) so... Softer than a bunny, or synthetic throw rungs, or fluffy jackets, it feels like what you imagine a cloud feels like as a child. This is not my hair. Its still the same indecisive colour, dark brown that could be confused for black. But against my now paler than paler skin ( seriously what!?) my skin! It used ti be olive with a slight, but hard earned tan, now though it is so pale it glows, literally! Well, anyway, my new hair looks otherworldly against it , i can barely believe its me. My hair now isnt frizzy at all! My fingers slide through it, but the curls and waves and ringlets just bounce back together. Cool. I stroke my hair, i assume it would drag slightly on the ground as i walk, but as i stroke it i feel somthing, something that makes this all the more unreal. A tiny. Pointed. Ear.

And...i faint.

Waking up take two.

It wasn't a dream. I didn't think it was, but as soon as i open my eyes through my foggy mind and try to sit up, i see the same landscape, feel the same body. I feel dizzier than ever, and slump back down, ok, sitting up was a bad idea. My stomach starts to churn, and i try to wait it out, i tug the brown baggy jacket around me, its getting colder. I can seem to do anything but lie down for a long time. Its so silent you can literally hear it. Cause that makes so much sense. As the waves of nausea slow down i start shivering, and all of a sudden want to cry. Not a chance, i don't cry...much, at least i try not to unless im at home, in bed at night reading sad quotes and stories on my ipad. I hate crying. When i cry i hyperventilate, i double breath, i get a headache, my nose snots up, my face heats up. Not pretty, well at least i don't go blotchy. I don't cry often either. Only ever few months, and that includes sad movies and books ( yes i cry in books, don't judge me). Either way, apparently this new body came with a set of new emotions, cause hot tears start running down my face and fall in wet splashes on my neck and the ground. Stupid emotions.

I finally stop crying ( thank god) but i feel like shit, crying does that to me. I want to sleep, yet i know i shouldn't, so i try rolling over to my side. My head spins for a few seconds, but then I'm alright, except for the cold. I wish i wws home, with my giant bed, warm clothes and food, my parents and sister, my ipad and tv. I stop myself before i start crying again, what the hell is wrong with me?!

After a while i can stand, and i survey the surrounding, its beautiful, like my wildest dreams. I imagined seeing places like this someday, the clear dark sky, the mist sounding the mountains like a halo, the grass green and fresh, random giant rocks that you could climb, flat parts off land you could run across, trees springing up determinedly from the ground scattered along the horizon, and the stars, god the stars. In movies they always show stars out in the wild away from pollution like they are then most beautiful things in the world, and sure they are pretty, but i was always a sun girl. I love the heat, the burn of it on my skin, its glows, its power, its ability to give life. And my opinion hadn't changed, but these stars, there are billions, so close together, and maybe its my new magnified eyesight and the lack of pollution, but they are so beautiful,its hard to explain, like an uncountable amount of arkenstones in the sky. Yep, you guesses it, im a hobbit fan, love the books, have a love/hate relationship with the movies.

Lord of the rings, that reminds me. Could a really be an elf? Its laughable, I'm more like a dwarf anyway. Anyhow, there are loads of different books/movies with elves. Wait what! I have to be kidding. This isn't real. I have to be in a coma, or on cookoo gas or something. This is insane. Just as my thoughts start to pull me in though, i hear something. Something you dont want to hear alone on a dark, dark night. I hear wolves.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: i don't own they hobbit, lord of the rings, or any of the characters in them. I make no money by doing this. This is purely for entertainment purposes.

Fuck! Sos mum. But Fuck! Stay still. No, run. No walk slowly away. WHY DOES NO ONE TEACH YOU WHAT TO DO IN THESE SITUATIONS! Ok, Ashley, calm down, they aren't even near you. Ok, i do have a point, i can only hear them, but still, i am freaked. I take a few deep breathes, stumble to my feet and run as fast as i can. Did i mention i hate running? Stupid wolves, freaking me out. Ok, I'm panting now, but wow this is actually kinda fun. I speed up and threw my arms out and let my hair fly into the wind. This is awesome! My bare feet barely touched the ground, and my dress is actually quite easy to run in. Wait, where am i? Oh no. Why was i not looking where i was going. Im on some kind of ledge, how the hell did i get here? ok I'm now apparently now a fast runner, a really fast runner who doesn't pay attention. Yes! A cave, a cave meant shelter from the now picking up wind. I slowly walked to the tall opening, ok, there better not be spider in here, HUGE arachnophobic, urghh spiders. Great, now im petrified, stupid kid emotions, I'm blaming this body.

Ok, this cave is actually quite awesome, its filled with little bits of, ok what is the word again? It ends with tight for the one that hangs on the roof, steriotype, NO ! That doesnt even end in tight. Urghh, major mental blank, whatever, the cave is filled with...stalagmite! And stalactite! I always remember stalactite are the ones on the roof because they end in tite, like tight, like holding on tight so they don't fall off. The cave has a wall at the far end, and when my foot hits a rock it echos, cool. The the world goes blurry and i fall into a sitting position on the ground, maybe the running wasn't a goos idea. My head spins, and i feel i may puke, this is horrible, i wanna go home. My eyes start to tear up...again. Its weird how you can be so cold yet so hot.

Arghhhhh! Every thing falls away from beneath me, the cave roof getting further and further away, my arms and feet hopelessly grabbing for them. Bits of rock fall with me and i scream so loudly my lungs hurt. Then just like that its over, my back hits the ground and the world turns black.

Noise, clanging and crashings, footsteps and yelling, horrid sounds my brain cant quite process, and voices, horribke, evil voices all around me echoing in my head. Is this what hangover feels like i wonder? My head aches and when i try to open my eyes the dull light is blinding. I slowly begin to remember and realise what is around me. Im on metal, cold, dirty metal, i feel it against my skin. Theres the squeaking off wheels, I'm on something moving, and by the feel of the bar shaped bits of metal pressing against my cheek i think i may be in a cage. As i pray I'm not, i slowly open my eyes and the moment i do i wish i hadn't. As they adjust i see dark walks, cave walls, all filled with cages and dirty and blood? Im on a suspended pathway in the air, everything is, wooden bridges and ladders in the air, nothing but blackness underneath. There are cages on the walls, i make sure not to look to hard, i don't wish to know what they are filled with. Then goblins, small blue, dirty, misshapen goblins like right out of the hobbit movie. I was right about the cage, it bronze and covered in...? I decide i don't want to know, and as soon as i get new clothes i burn these.

The goblins see I'm awake and taunt me in voices i don't understand. The jab spears and swords at me and i feel something puncture my stomach. I gasp and try to stay conscious. One goblin seems to be telling another off, and they stop stabbing at me, none seem to remorseful though. The wheel my rusty cage over wobbling bridges and my eyes are frozen open. Every now and again a goblin falls in, the others just laugh. I can almost feel the evilness radiating off them, and a red patch spreads across my dress were i was stabbed, my hands are wet with blood and i can no longer take it, i shudder, then once again the world is black.

Ok waking up is starting to get a little lame. I actually feel a lot better, sure I'm covered in bruises and wounds, the giant one on my stomach has finally stopped bleeding. I remember waking up a few times, but i only see snippets in my memory. The goblins jeering, their kind laughing, pain, dirty water and fire. I don't try to put the images back together, some things are better left in the past. Instead i get into a sitting position, rub my eyes and look around. The cave walls reflect the small torches hung up on the wall. Im in a cage, smaller, i can only just sit up, and i could probably only just lie down straight if i wanted to.

Somehow my thumb had snuck into my mouth, ew! I grew out of that habit ages ago. I decide to ignore it after i wrench it from my mouth and wipe it on my dirty dress. I grab my now only somewhat tangled curly hair and try to plait it. I i cant trie the end, so i just stick it down the back. My hair is the one good thing about this situation, i sure as hell am not loosing it.

The goblins gawk and snigger at me, but i ignore them. I need to think. Ok, so I'm an elf(ling) and judging by the goblins in Middle earth, seeing as the King is still alive Thorin hasn't come through yet. I hope he saves me, or i save myself, goblins are not nice. I remember reading on wiki they killed Lord Elrond's wife, well tortured her into insanity so she had to sail, it made me sad. As the thoughts kept circling in my mind only 4 things were for sure, 1) this isn't possible 2) this is possible 3) i need to get out and 4) i should probably stop swearing so much.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: i don't own they hobbit, lord of the rings, or any of the characters in them. I make no money by doing this. This is purely for entertainment purposes.

I am so frickin' bored i am doing math ( insert mental congratulations for not swearing), well not math exactly, but close enough. After about an hour of 1+1=2, 2+2=4, 4+4=8, 8+8=16, 16+16=32, 32+32=64, 64+64=128, 128+128=2..56, 256+256=..5..12,512+512=1024...and...i frickin' give up ( repeat). Sooo... I would say I'm pretty bored..and in pain. The goblins really do know how to be thorough, bastards. I wonder if there are female goblins, quite frankly i am not quite sure i want to know. I don't really know how long I've been here, i would guess a week or two, most of the time I'm unconscious. The goblins have taken to beating me, jabbing things at me, throwing things at me, and the scary dark things my mind had blocked from my memory. Theres been no rape, i would know, plus if you rape and elf the die before you start ( yep, wiki) but the fiery dark memories half hidden in my brain are enough to give anyone nightmares.

Im battered and bruised all over, my throat is raw, my nose is blocked, my eyes sting and i am covered in wounds ( plus i think i strained my ankle). Escaping has been a fail, I'm never actually more than semi conscious when my cage is lowered down and...and some things are best not said. Im the most coherent I've been all week, yet i still feel like puking just sitting up. Ive always thought people in stories like this were weak, but now i know better, they are so strong just for surving, and there is no shame in being rescued. Each time i wake i pray for a saviour, i hate to admit it, but i really don't think i can save myself.

There here...I'm assuming, well someones here, I've never seen the goblins so happy, and i have been here far to long if i can tell if their happy or not. I am actually pretty good for someone half dead, i blame it on adrenaline and my new elvish abilities. I am really craving watermelon..what? Im weird like that. Either way, another way i know they are here is because i saw them walking below me, thank god i was awake, now to get out, find them, and accompany them on the way out...i am screwed. I also think I'm getting a fever, great.

Now, escape attempt no 1. Scream at the to of my lungs...ARGHHHHHHHHH! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! My throat! Great, that just made the goblins laugh. Escape attempt no 2. Try to make the cage fall...nope, not working, i swear though, I'm like putting on a show . Escape attempt no 3. "TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!" Ok, that one was a long shot, and i am seriously feeling like a comedy show. Escape attempt no 4. Dramatically faint..now!

Ok, technically speaking the last one may not have been a pkan, but it did happen.

Eppp! I would scream properly, but quite frankly my throat hurts. Falling, so fast i hit the top of my cage. I see glimpses of dead goblins, live goblins, and the goblin king, dead! Thorin must have come and tore everything to shreds! Wow i was right before, i thought i was, but i didn't believe it. Its funny how much you can see in a split second, the grimy walls, falling cages, wood and metal, screams ( well technically you cant see them) and a whole lot of darkness and light all at once.

Funny enough, i don't faint when i hit the ground. I fall back ( not that far) to the bottom of my cage, my heads spins, my vision goes black and starry, i fell nauseated and I tightly shut my eyes, but i don't faint.I'm relieved i didn't, if i had i might have just been left here. I hear talking, and movement, but I'm to afraid to move, I'm in too much pain. Then i groan. A small sound, but these are warrioprs, i hear movement close to my cage and i try to open my eyes, that just makes me feel more sick though, so i close them. My ears finally stop ringing ( a little) and i hear conversation around me. " Should we kill it?" " Kili!" "What?" " Enough! Gandalf?" " i dont know Thorin, i do not know" I'm guessing the voices were Kilis, Filis, Thorins and Gandalfs, and i was pretty sure of my guess. " What do you think it is"'says another voice " Do you think its dangerous?". "For goodness sakes" cried fili? " Its probably a poor small animal or something". " Well, theres only one way to find out" says ?. Slam, my cages breaks around me, the roof falls on my back, agony.

"Bofur!" Cries Thorin, and i have a sneaky suspicion there are a lot of weapons pointed at me. My strength seems to be slowly filtering back into my body, and i painfully look up, revealing my face and more importantly my ears. The metal clanks to the ground and i stand up, and nothing happens. I slowly open my eyes to see some quickly coming into focus figures, they all stare at me in shock. I sway slightly and Gandalf springs to action, hr kneels at my feet and holds my steady with his staff free arm. He looks at my weirdly, like I'm the most most happiest most beautiful thing he could see, yet somehow the saddest and most painful, he looks at me like I'm a broken master piece of art, or a wild tropical forest burnt and destroyed. He looks at my like I'm a broken elfling, the last Elfling thousands of years ( the last was Arwen..yes i knie, Wiki) he looks at me like i represent broken innocence and the death of all that was once beautiful in the world. I feel like an imposter, i shouldn't be here, i shouldn't have this body , i don't deserve this look. I must have teared up, not that i wasn't already crying, that hurt, because he murmured something to me, something soft and sweet, something that sounded like china and the wind, something that sounded like song and perfection, something that didn't understand in the slightest.

" Err, um, sorry, but i have no idea what in the world you just said to me...err..thanks?" Ok, i am not so good at thinking under pressure. The dwarves were a mixture between shocked and amused, and nearly all of them had dropped their weapons down. What? Am i not threatening enough? humph! Wait...ok Ashley, keep focused. Gandalf however was rendered speachless. Wait! I hope i speak the common tongue, it sounds like English but i hope it is, otherwise im screwed! " Little one.." Gandalf started. Yah ! I understood! Wait! Little?! " Its alright, I'm Gandalf the Grey, you're safe now" said...you guessed it! Gandalf! Ok, I'm losing it. " Yeah, um , hi? Thanks for that i guess, nice to know, I'm Ashley by the way. Um, I'm fine..ish?. Gandalf looked at me with his trade mark thinking look from the movies and all the other seemed to be trying to decipher what i say. From my knowledge of fanfiction, and yes i do read it, i can assume he is properly puzzling over why i speak the common tongue and not elvish, why my way of speaking is so different from his ( i assume he will assume its because I'm all messed up from being here) and how i got here in the first place.

Things were getting kind of awkward, and i am nor good at kind of awkward, so i decide to break the silence " Sooooo...not to be rude or anything, but shouldn't be be like running...NOW!" The last bit came out as a bit of a scream because just then a goblin sprang out of nowhere and tried to stab the closest dwarf, Ori, Dori quickly dispatched it as Ori wasn't looking and everyone turned to me again. My hands where over my ears, i panic at loud noises, always have, you should see me with whistles. Thorin stepped forward and spoke " The Elf is right, we must continue onward. The others quickly bustled around and i went to move forward, i would rather die than run right now, but i didn't have a choiEPP! Or maybe i did, Gandalf had swiftly picked me up, and man he is strong for an old guy, he looked at me kindly then all the dwarves started running forward, towards the mouth of the cave.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: i don't own they hobbit, lord of the rings, or any of the characters in them. I make no money by doing this. This is purely for entertainment purposes.

We ran, well everyone else ran, i was carried. Once we were in the sunlight and a little way off we stoped, though the dwarves still seemed strained. All the dwarves seemed to be talking at once,but they had one things in common, was everyone here? Gandalf called to silence and scrutinised the group, then gripping me tighter he asked, in a deadly tone " Where is our burglar?". The dwarves again all started yammering at once, and i hid a little deeper into Gandalf's coat, i had always hated fighting. Gandalf again shouted the room to silence, but i was beyond listening, i guess this part is like the book though, because he is telling of Dori for letting Bilbo fall off his back. I slowly started to feel like crying,mi dont though, i have done that far to much lately, plus i don't want to miss Bilbos entry.

It was getting darker, the sun running away behind the endless mountains, past them would be Beorn's field, then Mirkwood forest , then the lake and at last the Lonely Mountain, Erebor. I could feel the adrenaline fading way, and i feel cold, hurt, hungry, thirsty, alone and out of place. I just want to crawl away from everyone and curl up behind a bush. I want to lay there shivering as i hear the wolves howl in the night, yo cry to scream. I want away, far away, the furthest away i can get, to turn invisible, to disappear, to fade from existence, to fade. Suddenly i started, to fade! No! I cant give up, i wont die! Yet the darkness is addicting, it calls me, telling me its not worth it anymore, telling me to give up, its warm and soft and i yearn so much to sleep. Suddenly, as if feeling my thoughts, Gandalf draws me closer, wrapping his clock around me, its so warm, like magic, and my wish to disappear vanishes instantly.

So thats what fading feels like. Fading, elves cant die unless mortally ( imortally?) wounded or they fade. I guess fading is basically depression, but so bad it just kills you. Im screwed, i ain't depressed, but i do get sad alot. I move my mind back to reality, Gandalf is speaking, and i feel his chest rumble as he says " Oh, i wish you had not dropped him. I invited him on this journey, and i do feel responsible for him, and now who knows where he could be!" Now! NOw! NOW! " He could be right here" says Bilbo as he appears out of nowhere " Now that very unlickly, almost impossible" said Galdalf not noticing who had spoken, and it was too funny. " Ha'" i burst out laughing, omg, Bilbo was right in front of him! The dwarves look at me like i was insane, but they looked in the direction i was now pointing, and all laughed too, even Gandalf gave an amused chuckle, switching his gaze between me and Bilbo. Bilbo stares at me curiously, shock written on his face. " Gandalf, is that..?" He asks after a minute.

"Well, it seems everything has turned out right" Gandalf states " But i suggest we move dorward. There will be time for questions later" well, don't try to be to obvious i thought, not. Right after Gandalf speaks though, wolves howl and Thorin shouts " Wargs, run!" And so that is exactly what we do, well i get carried, again. Trees blur by, warg howls become closer, and finally we arrive at a cliff edge near the circle of trees. The moment of judgment has come, is there a Azog in this world. We climb up trees, me in Gandalfs arms, and Bilbo struggles to get up. Dori has to go down and help him up, but we are all safe. The wargs come, and i hear Gandalf whisper the translation to the vile words they speak in their evil tongue. They were going to team up with goblins to raid a village, slaughter all the people while they slept. Half the people would be slaves for the goblins, half would be food for the wargs. I shivered at this, and Gandalf remembered i could hear him, he looked immensely guilty and stopped talking out loude, but i remembered the rest from the book. The wargs thought we had found out and were going to warn the village, so they circled us, and in vain tried to get us down from our trees.

Gandalf again thought of flamed pinecones, but they were much more awesome here than in the book. They were rainbow, some fires purple, others pink and greens and all other colours you could think of. The wargs burnt and screamed, i remembered they were afraid of fire. The ones that caught fire, then ran around and caught everything and all the other wargs around them on fire two. Finally most were either burnt, chased away from the pack so they could find water to put themselves out, dead, or scared and angry, as the fire spread through the glade. Then the Goblins turned up, they are not afraid of fire. They are smarter to, so they made a circle of fire around ous, boxing us in. As the flames spread through the trees, the dwarves looked scared. By now all the flames were orange, and we were surround by it, the goblins and wargs stayed on the outside and sang

Little birds, in a tree,

But their wingless could it be?

That they are not birds it all?

Who cares? They'll taste as good when the fall!

Hey! I thought, thats different from the book!

And look there and elfling small,

I cant wait to eat her all,

All the elves will disperse and cry,

For tonight, she will die

They all cackled at this one, and Gandalf held me tighter. " Run away while you can" he cried " I am Gandalf the Grey and if you continue this i shall destroy you. But he was bluffing, i knew it, and as our tree suddenly caught on fire, his arms reached out to steady himself, and i fell. " Arghhhh!" I screamed as i fell, i have been falling to often. I heard screams from the others, and a shout from Gandalf, but i hit the ground all the same. I felt my head go crack, and my vision left me for a few seconds, but i couldn't black out, not now. The world sounded far off, and my vision was blurred and blinding. I crawled blindly to what i thought the middle of the fire was, and tried to get my breath back.

My mid came back to me and the world speed up again, through me squinted eyes i saw Gandalfs staff ready light up like lightning, and he prepared to jump from the burning tree. He will die! Probably kill most off the Goblins while his at it, but he would die. I heard the Goblins singing far off.

Eat them raw,

Eat them hot,

Stew them up inside a pot.

Crisp or roasted,

Well eat them toasted.

And the Elfling all agleam,

Well eat her last and watch her scream!

Where are the eagles! I wanted to scream, but i could barely move, my body convulsing from fear and pain. Then, as Gandalf went flying down, a giant blur came past and picked him up, flying off with him! Where saved! All around the eagles came, rescuing each dwarf one by one from their trees, i saw Dori get picked up last with Bilbo clinging to his foot. Wait! What about me! I don't wanna die! Then suddenly and eagle flew right into the clearing beside me and bowed down, holding out a its clawed foot, it was giant. I tried to crawl to it, but i could barely move, so the eagle gently lifted me up and raised it great wings and flew forward.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: i don't own they hobbit, lord of the rings, or any of the characters in them. I make no money by doing this. This is purely for entertainment purposes.

Ive always wanted to fly. Ive never been on a plane, but I've always wanted to. Whenever i saw Harry on a hippogriff or broomstick in Harry Potter i was jelouse. And i always wanted to do this, fly over the mountains like/with a bird. So, no matter the huge amount of pain i am in, i try to keep my eyes open and enjoy every part of the flight. Occasionally i see a dwarf go by, but they don't look nearly as impressed. I am though, this is amazing, this is magic, this is my wildest dream. I want to scream out with joy, but my throat hurts. The eagle must feel my joy, because it flips daintily in the air, twirling around and giving me the time of my life. My finger and cold in the wind, my hair wipes out around me, my eyes sting, my head spins, but i never want it to stop.

After what seems like a lifetime of pleasure, we land. The eagle holding me, gently rolls me to the floor, and i just lie there. Throughout the ride i noticed me and my eagle where getting further and further behind the group, i assumed it was because he kept on taking detours, over lacks, and valleys and the most beautiful sights i had ever seen. My whole body was numb, and the dwarves and Gandalf then came around the bend. They all stared baffled as i lay there like an idoit, shivering and grinning on the ground. Im guessing i missed out on the while Gandalf talks to the King or prince, i don't remember, of the eagles, and the are now taking us down to the edge of the mountain. Unlike the movie, the eagles don't just randomly come, they were friends with Gandalf, saw the commotion and helped out. Gandalf once saved their prince/king from an arrow wound and thats why they are friends. The eagles can only take us so far because the villages nearby are afraid they will take their livestock ( which they do) and try to shoot us down.

But we are not going now. We are staying for the night. After awhile of The Company staring at me like i was an insane idiot, i somehow wobbled to my feet, walked a few steps to the left and sat down leaning against a rock. A few dwarves shuffled off, by the looks of it to make a fire. Some tried to mime a converstaion, but quite frankly they sucked at it, and Thorin, Gandalf, Balin ( Thorins advisor?) and Dwalin ( bodyguard?) came over, Bilbo was a few steps behind, curious, but not quite sure if he was invited to come over or not. From all the logic i could muster i knew i should be passed out in pain, on the ground crying, or some other extreame, but i just feel weird, like ive been drugged and wasn't quite on the same page as reality. Maybe it is shock, maybe it is adrenaline, maybe both, quite frankly i didn't care, i was just worried about what happened when it wore off.

Gandalf looked like he was deciding what to say, and Thorin looked like he was just about to shout out, well, im not quite sure, but obviously starting this conversation was up to me. So i opened my mouth, and as soon as i started speaking, so did Gandalf and Thorin. " Um, well, you see.." I tried " Little one" Gandalf said kindly while Thorin just kinda looked constipated and yelled " Who are you?". So, me being me, the horrible idiot that i am and blurted out the first thing in my head " Thorin!", everyone looked at me. Gandalf looked confused and slowly said " Your name is Thorin", Thorin looked like he wanted to interrupt, but Gandalf gave him the look. I open mouth to explain, and a thousand things swivelled in my head. I have read basically all the falling into ME fanfics and Elfling Harry Potter stories, and there was one thing in common, nearly every Character waited forever to tell where they came from ( if ever) and always told a lie that slapped them in the face later. When i read them i always thought i would be honest and just tell the truth, screw what everyone thought, but with all the running, i hadn't had time yet. I know this probably isn't the best time to explain, and i actually have no idea how to start, but i know what elflings mean here, and i already feel like a total imposter. So i talk...

" Ok, well, no, my name isn't Thorin, sorry about that. Im Ashley, i think i said that before? Yeah, so um, Ashley, Ashley Regias Thealium ( Re-gee-as Teel-ee-um) . But not Ashley Ashley, i just said my first name twice. And i know its weird having two last names, i just do and its not really that important why" Ok, I'm getting some weird looks, but oh well, some of the dwarves looked like they wanted to talk, but again Gandalf silenced them with ' the look'. " Im, er, 15 years old, and I'm a girl, obviously" i got some gasps at that, im going to be kind and assume it was because of my age and not the fact that I'm a girl. " And im from another world, and am actually human, well was, and i have no idea how i got here, and none of you should be real, and i know things i probably shouldn't, and im not an elf, im a teenager, and i have no idea how i got here, and im worried about my parents, and i hurt all over and am surprised im not dead yet" The last part i said i said really fast and take i giant breath after. The dwarves all look at me like im insane for a minute, but i keep talking before they can say anything. " Ok, that probably didn't make much sense, ill try to keep it simple and go from the start" .

I took a big breath " Hi, again. So Im ..was human a few days ago. Actually no, wait let me start before that. I am from a different world, i know it sounds crazy, but its true. Its called Earth, i know, real creative, anyway, its a lot different there. And on Earth there are a few books, and there about Middle Earth, but everyone thinks there fiction, and i know that hard to understand but, wait, let me, um, well, you guys are on a quest to reclaim your mountain." All the dwarves gasped " And you have a map with moon letters on it, and i know thats weirdly specific, but one of the books is about you, which i know sounds crazy, but its true! It has some of your past, and even your future, but i don't know if i can say anything, i could kill thousands if i say the wrong thing! Anyway, i probably changed things by being here. But back to what i was saying, im from a different world. I was a human and lived with my parents and sister then all of a sudden i was here as an elfling! I just went to bed one night, then woke up on a cliff! I thought i had gone insane! Well i was chased by wolves and ended up in a cave" " So did we" someone exlaimed, i continued "i was captured by goblins and i dont know how long i was there. I actually dont remember much, luckily i guess. Well then you guys came and saved me, and well, you where there for the rest. Sorry i didnt say anything sooner, but we were kind of busy. I know this is hard to believe, but you just have to. I have no one in this world, and have no idea what to do. I am so grateful you saved me, more than you could possible comprehend, and i know its annoying im asking you for more help, but i have nowhere else to go".

All the everyone solemnly, their faces unreadble. I look down, i really have no more i can think of to say. " I know this is crazy, i hardly believe it myself, but its the truth.". I felt really warm, the way i always do when I'm about to cry, wow, now i get why no one says it, its really embaressing. Gandalf kneels beside me and puts his hand on my shoulder " I must admit i have never heard anything like this young one, but i do not see you as a liar. As for your predicament i have no anwer, but i know those who might be more help than i and would be glad to help you all i can" he says. I want to cry even more than before now, but i don't " Thanks" i say. "No thanks are needed" said Gandalf. Thorin took a step closer " Ashley, i can not say i believe this, but i also will not call you a liar just yet as we have just been aquainted. I am Thorin Oakenshield, King under the mountain, though you may already know that. No matter though, i am willing to help as anyone of good conscience should. As to getting you home, i know not how, but my men and i shall take you to the next village along and get you help there". The other dwarves nodded agreement and so did Bilbo. I again nodded thanks and looked up, the absolute sincerity on their faces was astounding, and i went to speak again, but when i tried talking a gut wrenching pain hit my, well, gut and all that came out was a whimper. Wow! I didn't know i could make that sound!

Gandalf quickly and Oin rushed up as well ( he was the healer in the movie im going to assume). All the dwarves had long since dropped their pretences of doing other things and were out right staring at me, but i didn't mind, mostly cause i was in to much pain. I was weird, i had felt dine, then suddenly something just snapped, and everything came back at once. " My tools were taken" said Oin annoyedly, though not at me. Gandalf frowned then looked at me. " Ashley, may i put you to sleep with my magic so we can asses your injuries without causing you pain?" I looked up at him, at everyone, i could trust them " Yes" i whispered through my daze of agony " Thank you" Gandalf said softly, stroking my hair from my face, and then he lifted his staff to my head, and the world slowly started fading away. As i looked around one last time all i saw was the vast, tall cavern filled with flickering light made by the bonfire the dwarves had just made, everyone staring at me with the kindest faces imaginable, the valley bellow the cave with the moon slowly coming up with its amazing entourage of stars, and an eagle flying to the mouth of the cave, its wings shining like bronze in the lights, a dead animal in its talons, and the sound of its call into the nights.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: i don't own they hobbit, lord of the rings, or any of the characters in them. I make no money by doing this. This is purely for entertainment purposes.

"Wake up" a voice called through the thick, warm darkness. "No" i reply, although whether or not it was understandable is anyones guess. Whoever woke me would pay! Its school holidays right? " Come on little one" the voice said, i felt a warm hand on my shoulder, dad? " Five more minutes" i mumbled, i am allergic to dust and normally accidentally sleep sleep with my mouth open, so my mouth always felt like ash when i woke up. " Little one" said the voice, dad i will kill you! " Go to hell i said louder" i expected to be told off for this. I never really got woken up by my parents, and when i was there was a reason, so i was pretty pist, i would normally take it in better stride, but for some reason i am so damn tired...Wait! Oh, god. I remember, how could i forget? Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! . ! I want to cry, to scream, to do something! I have barely ever woken up disorientated before! It must have been the spell. Crap. And there goes my swearing.

I am about to state my new state of awakness, i cant open my eyes yet, or really move, but at least I'm conscious. I open my mouth, then wham! My stomach drops as i am suddenly picked up. Gandalf, trust me, i know his grip by now. Wait, picked up, i was on a bed. Are we at Beorns? Either way, Gandalfs wraps whatever blanket that was on my bed around me, and seriously, i consider just going back to sleep in his arms, being awake is hard. " Ok" i moan " I'm up, Im up, I'm up" i was not up. Slowly i open my eyes, rubbing them hard with my fist, the first thing i see i Gandalf's old face with a very raised ibrow. I did the only thing any mature young girl would, as i could not raise my own eyebrow at the minute-a trick that took me forever to learn- i simply stuck my tongue. There goes his eyebrow, i hope it never comes back. Yep, im in bitch mode today.

Wow, i think, i must have slept the entire walk here! I wonder who carried me? Whoops. "Young Ashley, we have arrived at a friends house, Beorns" i snort when he says that, sure, a 'friends'. Ok, Ashley, tone it down, you want these people to like you. " Yes i know, he's the shape shifter. How long was i asleep?" Wow, and i even managed to say that properly. Gandalf looked surprised that i knew this, well that proves he didn't believe me. " You have bern asleep naught but a few days" he said, thank god, i hope i didn't talk in my sleep. I squirmed a bit and noticed i felt better,a lot better. I surveyed Gandalf and saw bags under his eyes, darn, he must have used magic to heal me. F**k, i hope i didn't weaken him for later. " Thank you for healing me" i said looking down, cause nows certainly the time to get or more modest. Urgh!

"It was a pleasure to help you, young Ashley" he said in his old, deep voice. " Well thanks, i guess" i replied, wow girl, real fluent. " You do seem to guess alot" mused Gandalf. Cue face palm.

After about ten minutes of assuring Gandalf that i was ok, and was not on the way to self harm ( stupid face palm) he posed me a question. " Now, i know you are tired" nah really? " But you are badly malnourished" wow they have that word here! " Still weak and injured from your travels as there was only so much i could do" well excuse you from not being Elrond "But, although you still need rest, i think it best if you are fed and refreshed first" well im not going to complain. " Thanks" i whispered again, i seem to be saying that an awful lot lately. "Now" Gandalf said, obviously now getting to the 'point' " The dwarves are now currently getting their lunch, but it may be easier for you if you eat in here as you are still tired" he finished looking at me questioningly, ohh, and he found phis eyebrow.

Well. If i stay in here Gandalf may try to baby me even more, and probably try to 'discreetly' question me as well. Also, I'm so tired i may act stupidly and or fall asleep in the middle of something. Meanwhile, if i eat out there, i will still get questions, but hopefully i can be ignored, it will be easy to hold it together to keep my image, and i don't want to offend the dwarves by ignoring them. Mmmmm. Seriously i just want to go back to sleep, but as soon as food and water was mention my stomach woke up and it ain't going back to bed with me. "Um, well, i might as well eat with everyone else, though i can't say I'm going to be ummmm...well, I'm having a mental blank, oh well" Gandalf stared at me even more worried than usual " I am guessing you don't know what a mental blank is?" Gandalf just shakes his head. To explain or not to explain..." Well how about we get going?" And i choose not. " Yes, i think you are right little Ashley" ok, can you just decide on one endearing term and use it? Ok probably not the point.

Gandalf walks out, me and the blanket still in his arms. I know i should ask to walk by myself, but i just cant bring it in myself to do it. Omg, i just thought, what if the dwarves think I'm intruding. Oh well, after a second of thoughts whizzing around my head, i just accept it, and leave it to fate. And here comes fate right now.

Im carried through a short hallway. The walls are logs, the floor is carpeted. I wonder were Beorn got the carpet? Somehow i just cant imagine him knitting. We then arrive at a doorless door way, and inside is a big room with a kitchen bench on one side and a giant table in the middle, fireplace on the side. The dwarves sit around the table, and its filled with food, the room falls quite when they see us. Beorn then walks in through another doorway, this one with a door. He smiles at me, not a creepy one, but a warm, if not slightly fierce, one. He looks totally different from the movies, i guess the best way to describe him is like Hagrid from Harry Potter. He is tall, really tall, and though he is extremely muscly, he also has a lot of mass. His hair is wild, puffy, tangled, wiry and dark. His eyes small, dark, yet warm though slightly wary. He is dressed simple, and actually wears a proper top as well as a coat. Is eyebrows are normal, only a little bushy.

He walks towards me " Ahh, it seems are little human elf has awaken, what a strange story you have, tiny kitten" he says in a ruff voice, though he says it kindly. He walks right up to Gandalf and looks down at me. " Wow!" Is say, and here comes the sarcasm " Im a kitten now?! Now i could have sworn i was an elf! Though, if I'm a kitten I'm quite surprised i can be understood, and seem to be rather hairless" Some of the dwarves actually dropped their utensils that were suspended in the air, and Beorm just burst out laughing. " It seems i have angered the little kitten, i apologise. But you do seem to have a likeness to a little kitten, so small and afraid, yet not afraid to hiss and swipe at anyone that annoys you" he says this as he leans down so his face is right next to mine. " Well then, if that is the case, i would be wary if i were you. Or haven't you heard? Kittens seem to have very sharp claws" Gandalf nearly drops me at this, and Beorn ,again is laughing so hard he must clutch his stomach, a few of the dwarves are aswell, the others look like they never move again. I guess it must be a bit shocking and quite hilarious to see someone as tiny as me threaten someone as giant as Beorn, but hey! He started it. "Oh, and by the way, I'm not tiny, you are just abnormally large" i said and that was the last straw for Beorn as he laughed so hard i actually worried about his breathing. I just stared at him, working hard to not smile so i could keep my little eyebrow raised. This continued before Gandalf cleared his throat and said "Perhaps we should all have our lunch now?" Ohhh, so its lunch time. Beorn gradually stopped laughing, though it seemed it was very hard, and he finally puffed out "Yes, yes, go eat. Ha! Such a charming elfling, so spirited, i can tell i will enjoy having you around. It shall be most..interesting..when you meet your new kin, what i would do to be there" the last bit he said more to himself, but it was still loud and clear as a bell, living alone for a while can do that to you.

Gandalf came to a small bench at the end of the table opposite to Thorin and sat on it, putting me on his lap. The animals crowded around, they all looked curious and excited, well as curious and excited as animals could look. There were two sheep, a few mice, a cat, two dogs, a bird, and a goose? nearby. The bird actually landed on my shoulder. I didnt want to seem whiny, but i think Gandalf want me to sit here, but i would rather sit on my own, then again, i am pretty zonked (tired) right now, so i could fall...mmm...pride or comfort? For some reason i think i will be picking comfort even if i don't want to. "Hi" i said, giving a miniature wave to everyone " Hello!" Says Bilbo extremely enthusiastically. Everyones head turn breakneck speed to look at him, seriously, these guys are ridicules. " Hello, pleasure to make your aquaintance, you must be Bilbo Baggins. Im Ashley if you didn't catch it before, how are you this fine afternoon" i said in my most sweet, sugar coated voice, Bilbo's jaw literally dropped open, but he quickly regained himself ." Very good, very good, if i do say so myself, especially since we put all that nastiness behind us" he said, holding his thumbs under his coat and rocking back and forth a bit in his seat ( three away from me). He looked looked away for a second before startling " How are you may i ask" he asked, whoops, did Mr Baggins actually forget his manners. I giggled " Mmmmm, i would be lying if i said never better, but i do seems not so bad myself aswell" i winked at him and he turned bright pink. " Enough of this" growled Thorin, his face grim and annoyed" We have questions" . He was about to say more but i quickly interrupted him " So do i!" I said in my most cheery voice " Isn't that great!" Thorin looked pissed, but he tried to keep his composure " Well.." He snarled " Thorin" said Gandalf in a voice just as worried, Thorin just ignored him. " What. Are. Your. Questions" spat out Thorin. Ha! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. This. Would. Be. Fun. I opened my mouth and...

Happy Easter!


	8. Chapter 8

Last chapter

Enough of this" growled Thorin, his face grim and annoyed" We have questions" . He was about to say more but i quickly interrupted him " So do i!" I said in my most cheery voice " Isn't that great!" Thorin looked pissed, but he tried to keep his composure " Well.." He snarled " Thorin" said Gandalf in a voice just as worried, Thorin just ignored him. " What. Are. Your. Questions" spat out Thorin. Ha! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. This. Would. Be. Fun. I opened my mouth and...

"Well, for starters i would like to know what in the hell is up with his face" i said blatantly staring at Bifur's head. " Seriously! There is like an axe in his head! How are any of you not worried about this?!" Bifur looked shocked, staring at me blankly for a second, before he starting mumbling in the dwarf language...Khunzle? Eh, something like that. Thorin went to talk, but i quickly kept on going "Anyway, ignoring that total impossibility, that guy over there has put like three spoons in his pocket in the last five minutes" everyones heads swivelled to who i assumed was Nori, Dori started telling him of in dwarvish, and Beorn was looking at him suspiciously. Thorin looked like he may explode. " Excusing Sushi" everyone looked at me like i was insane, but it was too late, Nori was now Sushi. This is probably because when i tried to look him up once i forgot to type from the hobbit, and i ended up with pictures of seeweed.

I quickly continued. " Now, back to my questions" i took a deep breath. " How in hell are you planing on robbing a dragon? Why don't you all try to kill it? Don't you remember the part in the prophecy saying 'the lake will shine and burn'? Aren't you the least bit worried about that? How do you think you will get through mirkwood? Fom what i remember the path is broken. Where am i meant to go? Just run into mirkwood, hope an elf finds me or something? Thats insane! Anyway, what are you gonna do about the men and elves that live nearby. I know you hate Thranduil, but quite frankly he has an army, and together, you could kill the dragon! I know he betrayed you, but have you ever asked why? And don't say he was a coward, he may well be, but you should ask him, if only to embarrass him with the fact he has no answer. Anyway, you could use his help, and there is so much damned gold in that mountain you could give him a little. And i know you're stubborn and all, but aren't you doing this to give a home to your people? I have to believe its more about getting rich. And Thranduil could help. It may wound your pride, but it will save lives! And the men living nearby, i know they are all poor, and they would help you gladly with minimal wage. They could restart Dale! And u know this is a lot to take in, but its about time you thought about it. I need to warn you, that gold can be tricky, it messes with your mind! Plus i know the future and i have to help. I know things that could change this world". I finally stopped. All the dwarves looked at me in silence.

The silence continued for no more than a minute. I could see the dwarves faces mould and change into different expressions. Thorins gre dark, like a storm cloud, yet somehow, under all the hatred and anger and fury, i saw sadness, and pain, and betrayel, and it made my heart clench. "I don't see how that is any of your business" growled Thorin, his voice as soft velvet, get holding unbound fury, a whispered threat. He went to continue, but my heart changed in a second, and so did my mind. " You're right" i said softly, yet clearly. " It is not my right to ask such things of you, i apologise" it felt weird, like my outlook had changed in mere seconds. "You...you..i..well i guess the thing is, i took it too far. I want to help, but i shouldn't force my views on others. You know the funny thing? I actually hate conflict. It makes me feel horrible. I don't know what the future holds, only what it could hold. Its are choices that make us who we are, and there are so many choices to be made, i don't know why i asked those questions, except maybe the first, i want to know what you plan to do, but you just met me. I guess its because i already know you. Ive read about you, thought about, a few times even dreamed about. Ive somehow made this image of you in my mind, but i can see how for you it might not be the same. You just met me, and i must confound you all so. Those questions can wait, and be made at the time of trial when are heads know truly what the stakes are. And who makes those decisions depend on the time. I have always been the type of person who planes something, then gets to the point of reckoning and does something completely different. For you that might not be the same." Tears welled un-fallen in my eyes. And all the dwarvlooked grim. " Maybe its best we all eat, and forget this happened, if not for a while". I finnished.

The dwarves all looked at Thorin , he nodded, and they slowly and quietly started eating. The closest thing to me is bread, but quite frankly i think that may be a bit to hard for my shrunken stomach right know. I reached out, but i couldn't actually touch anything. Gandalf just picked up the plate in front of me and loaded it up with a bit of everything. I normally hate someone else serving me, cause i hate my foods touching. Who wants bread soggy with fruit salad dressing? Or warm peas mixed with their cold salad? But luckily Gandalf only picked a bit of each dish, and nothing touched. He placed it in front of me and whispered in my ear "Try not to eat to much, it would not do you well to get sick". He then handed me a knife and fork and spoon. Whoh! At least he didn't try to feed me. I studied my plate.

I have a small, simple salad on it, its looks like its filled with fresh carrots, cucumber, peas, tomato, weird green leaves and snow peas. Their was a small chunk of the softest bread. Their was some cut up fruit, apple, pear, grapes, banana, apricot and cantalope. There was also a sweet looking cake and some dried seads, they looked like the were meant to go on things, but obviously Gandalf left me the option. I was shocked there was no meat on my plate ( did i mention im vegaterian?) oh, wait, Beorn probably doesn't serve meat. Thats why, well anyway, I'm glad there isn't, meat smells horrible, and i think if it was placed in front of me right now i would puke.

Beorn has gone, and the dwarves have started quietly chattering. I slowly ate a bit of everything on the plate ( even the seeds) it was all nice, but all the flavours were incredibly strong as i haven't eaten for a while. It soon became obvious that i need water, but Gandalf just passed me the cup. I guzzled as much water down as i could, then i just sat in silence and stillness. The animals all pressed up against me, but things couldn't be more awkward. I hated that i left food on my plate, but i literally couldn't eat another bite, at all. Eventually Gandalf picked me up and carried back to my room. A few dwarves nodded goodbye at me, but thats all.

When i got in my room i finally got a chance to study it. It is simple, wooden, a nice dark brown. I had a small table, an armchair, a few other things such as a dresser and candles, and a bog bed to one side. The bed had a red embroidered quilt, it looked rather american indian. I suddenly wonderer who's bed it was? I hope i wasn't kicking Beorn out of his room, i went to say somethimg, but my tongue is lead. Gandalf laid me down in the semi hard bed, and tucked me in. I see his blue/grey eyes as i immediately drift off. And my last thought is, i wonder why i haven't gone to the toilet here yet.

AU: Ok, i hate people who ask for likes but... Any comments or likes would be a dream come , i will answer any questions/comments, take advice etc. ( plus if anyone wants to creat an elf i can put it in soon).


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up ( well duh) and the first thing in my head is a song from Shrek the musical ( morning person). I have never actually seen shrek the musical, but my sister did, and she got a few of the songs stuck in my head. I don't actually know any of the lyrics to said song other than ' Ive always been a morning person' so you can guess its quite annoying, especially because i am NOT a morning person. Last night felt like a world away, my stomach felt a bit tight from the stress last night, but now is loose and warm. The beds warm, im warm, the air is warm, ahhh. Someone gonna interrupt me know aren't they? I wait a second of silence before letting put a deep breath and vocalising my ahhhh again. "Ahhhhhh 'Why goodmorning to you' hh" said Beorn merrily. I Will Kill Him! I startle, my whole body freezing for a second, you may think this is because of the elfling thing, but i actually just startle at loud noises, you should see me around whistles. I slowly turned my head to the side i heard his voice from. I see him sitting casually in an old rocking chair, a cocky smile on his face. I glare at him. " Well aren't i lucky to be the one watching you little kitten" i glared harder. Great so now the are taking turns. " Haha" he laughed as he reached a hand out to me.

You know that second before something happens, where you know your gonna do something, and you really don't want to, but you just do? Yeah, well, considering the circumstances you cant blame me for what i did. He reaches his giant, probably dirty hand at me, and acting purely on instinct, i bite it. We both froze and looked at echother. He had an eyebrow raised, and just casually stared at where my small teeth barely made an imprint on his hand. I just stared for a second before my senses took back over. " EWWWWWW!" I screetched, sticking my tongue out and trying to wipe it with my hand " Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew" i think i may puke. Beorn being the bastard he is, just laughes and wipes his unhurt hand on his pants. "Omg! That is sooooooooo disgusting" i screech again, still trying to wipe my tongue. " Now little kitties should not bite" Beorn says with a smirk, finger outstretched, and dam i wanted to bite it. Taking control of myself, i put my tongue back in my mouth ( ew) screwed up my courage and apologised " I am very sorry for biting your hand" i wasnt. He just raised and eyebrow and picked me up.

I yelped. There goes my lovely warm covers. I wonder if anyone would notice if i murdered him." Hey let me down!" I cried! He looked at me, raised that goddarned eyebrow again, then slowly put me on the floor. I am surprised i can walk, but i quickly scramble back to my bed, but he catches me and holds me still halfway. " Its not bed time anymore little kitten, the sun has awoken, and so should you" he should not be so happy! " Screw the sun, I'm nocturnal" i say and struggle harder, Beorn looses himself laughing for a minute, but he does not release me! " It is an hour to breakfast, and i thought you would like to wash up" crap,now i need to pee. I slowly look up and glare at him, he just muffles more laughter. "Why you" i question " Not that theres anything wrong with you" i continue, there was, he is satans child.

"Well little one, as its my house, i think its proper i look after my guests" This time i raise an eyebrow.

"Now, we must continue, i am guessing you wish to walk?" I nod. He then abruptly strode forward, i stumbled. for a second, the caught myself. By this time he had already disapeared. Ok. Ashley. Get a hold of yourself. No use letting a poohead like Beorn get on your nerves. And i refuse to think i just thought of Beorn as a poohead, though he is...Wait...i just got an idea... Beorn has stopped a few feet away once i slowly walk from the room, he is just casually standing there. I can barely hold it in, and for asecond i just stand there chuckling like a manic, Beorn raises an eyebrow, then i charge. I run ad fast as i can at him with a battle cry, and when he swings me up in his arms, i nimbly jump onto his back and clim to his shoulders. Beorn seems shocked for a second, and I use the time to swing one leg over either side and of his head and grap onto random junks of his hair like rains.. Slowly, i see his eyes cross slightly as they view me on top of his head, before he just chuckles again and continues walking.

Beorn's house is not to big, so we exit it quickly from a back entrance and as we walk out into the fresh morning air i cannot help but gasp at the view. Around the house are vast stretches of land, flowing green fields filled with flowers and plants all reaching up to grasp the first rays of the sun. Beyond the fields on one end are the mountains, the mountains we crossed and for a second i don't believe it, they are strong, so far, so big. I have always loved mountains and the fact i had crossed ones so amazing and didn't even get to see them properly made me feel down, but i would see them again, i promised myself, i would. Then turning my view to the left a small gasp left my lips. A forest; tall, dark, foreboding. Mirkwood. It was almost a wonder in itself and i just sat and stared for a second, wanting, no, needing to i print every tiny detail in my mind. Beorn, who had stilled during my gazing finally spoke "It is something, isn't it?" And i couldnt help but nod ( though he couldn't see me), childishness forgotten.

Slowly we went down an invisible path to a small brown hut, an out house. The middle-class, rich,sheltered white ( well, Caucasian really) in me screamed in denial and ran far far away. Beorn led me to the door and placed me on the ground before kneeling, and seriously looking me in the eyes, crap! "Do you need help?" He asked sofetly. NO! no no no no ino no NO! Me head screatched. I shook my head, then slowly opened my mouth "But I've never been in one like this before, so maybe if you could just quickly tell me and i would er yeah" he nodded solemnly, then went to the corner of the door were a largish bush with soft leaves grew and handed me one. "Ahhh! I said,i got it!" I announced before i softly muttered thanks and faced my doom.

Inside was dark, little rats of light flickering through the wooden plank walls, but that wasn't the scary part. No, the scary part was the singular large whole near the back, well now or never i guess. I slowly pulled down my leggings and lifted my skirt, the hole was to large for me to put my feet on either side of, so i simply did my best attempt at an air-chair, the leaves in my hand a life line. I did my business and couldn't help wondering if all toilets are like this in Middle-Earth, somehow i couldn't imagine any elf squatting over a hole like this. The leaves are soft, thank god, then i was done. Making sure my clothes are straight all i could wish for is that people in Middle-Earth understand the importance of washing hands before i went out to face the music. Beorn was outside waiting patiently and when i emerged he took out what i could only guess is a waterskin then knelt by me and dribbled some water on my hands. I quickly rubbed them before drying them on my skirt and murmuring more thanks. Dam! Let hell just swallow me now!... please?

Well, i guess ill just have to put my game face on and act mature...and forget yesterday...it never happened! Now i may have silently gripped his hand on the walk back, but i will viciously bite anyone who dares to mention it. " I am so outta my depth" i mutter to myself quietly, very quietly, who knows how good Beorns hearing is and we walk back up the path to the house. "Sooooo... How are you today?" Urghhh, i am bad at awkward conversation...and general converstation. Beorn continues with his evil little chuckle before saying in his booming voice "How am i? I am very well,though my house has been invaded by a whole pack of dwarves and a hobbit and a wizard no less. It is you that i wonder about" mmm, pack of dwarves...eh, close enough. "Well I'm in denial " i said chiperly, nearly running to keep up with him "Denial?" He questioned, he eyebrows squashing together, mentally laughing i replied " Yep denial, you see ( and i am sorry to inform you of this) you are not real" "Not Real?!" He said in shock, before his expression settled and he looked at my like i was insane " You certainly are one strange child" "I know" i replied " its part of my charm" and then i skipt right ahead, into the house and slammed the door so he could not get through. Ha!


	10. Chapter 10

Wellt I'm in denial " i said chiperly, nearly running to keep up with him "Denial?" He questioned, he eyebrows squashing together, mentally laughing i replied " Yep denial, you see ( and i am sorry to inform you of this) you are not real" "Not Real?!" He said in shock, before his expression settled and he looked at my like i was insane " You certainly are one strange child" "I know" i replied " its part of my charm" and then i skipt right ahead, into the house and slammed the door so he could not get through. Ha!

Ok, maybe a closed door was not much of a defence a definitely bigger than 6 foot shape shifting hunk of muscles, but hey, a girl can try! So I skip down the hall, quite frankly not giving a football, yes, a football, Im not swearing, remember ? Either way, i have decided i have come to a decision, if everyone is gonna act like im insane, then i should to and if your gonna be insane, do it right.

So i decided to skip down the hall singing.

"Pineapples are yellow,

Ravenclaws are blue,

Im dancing through the hallway,

With nothing much to do!"

Deciding, that this is definitely not real, again, I decided i might as well enjoy, and ignore the annoying voice in my head going " Yeah right" ( snort).

"Im running through the hallways,

Now im in the kitchen,

Not sure what what rhymes with kitchen,

How about Tim Minchin?"

"Great song artist by the way" I casually comment to an open mouthed Sushi.

" The dwarves all think im crazy,

Quite frankly I agree,

Im singing in front of strangers,

Whats the matter with me?"

" ...and im gonna stop singing now..."

"So hey guys" A beamed, a new day, a new start! " Hows it crackilakin?". "

" Hows it what?" Stuttered a confused Ori.

"Crackilakin!" I shout, arms raised to the sky.

" Are all the elvish children this...eh..." Slowly said, um, Bofur? Whatever, its hat guy.

"Super-duper fantastically awesome!" I buttered in.

"Err, yes, i guess?" He continued.

"Human" i said " pointing to myself " Remeber?" Ohh, and I could tell them " Ohh, and announcement, I have officially gone into denail! Again!Yahhh!"!

The Dwarves all continued looking at my in half pity, half astonishment. "I don't have time for this!" Growled an angry Thorin. "Time for what?" I casually chirped, head side-ways. " For this foolishness!" He growled, damn, he is like a human wolf. " Well if you dont want me with you, say so" i said, glaring, this douche has it coming. "Well of course i do not, you are nothing but an annoying lenience" he said, glaring back. By now some of the dwarves looked rather taken aback, but they stayed silent. "Well fine! I will make it to Mirkwood on my own!" I shouted, Thorin just laughed a bitter laugh " You would not last five minutes! How long did you say you have been in middle earth? And already you have been nearly killed by Goblins", i growled " Well, i would rather travel alone, unsafe and risk it all again than spend another minute in the presence of one thats despises me, God knows ive spent enough of my life doing so, no more!" I yelled and stormed out, leaving a pack of confused dwarves behind me.

How dare he! That stupid, arrogant..urgh! No! I am better than this. I am as welcome as they are in this house. If i wanna eat food in the god damn kitchen I will! Screw Mr I Am Sooo Better Than you! I storm back to the door, then stop, what if i cant do this. You can, I say to myself ( I am amazing at pep talks) and I WILL. I open the door back i to the room and all sounds stop. Its now or never. Sweetly I smile as a walk in and say in a voice sickly sweet enough to give diabetes "Im Sorry", Thorin gives a superior look, poor soul, not, " I couldnt find it" I continue after a dramatic pause. "What?" Barks a poor confused Thorin, he really shouldn't have, "Your honour, I looked everywhere I did, but nope, it was all gone, I thnk we will just have to both accept the fact and more on". He turned purple. I quickly got the seat furthest from everyone ( the head seat with a space on either side". " A pity reall" I comment as I a grab a plate from a nearby stack and start putting a bit of salad and fruit and such on it. I gave my most evil smile.

Thorin, looking ready to burst, goes to yell, before Bilbo ( I know right? Wow!) steps ( though not physically in) " Now, now" he says in a tone one would speak to a small child throwing a tantrum! The thought! " There is no need to say such things! It is breakfast and I, for one, am happy to be able to eat such splendid food. I suggest we put everything behind us for know and try to enjoy what we have now, for who knows when we shall have such again". Bilbo looks rather cautious as he finishes, but still somehow brave. Thorin looks to comment but just as he starts to speak Gandalf walks in " Why, what a wonderful thought, we do leave tomorrow morning after all", my mouth drops at this and Thorins face goes hard. We continue to eat in silence. The dwarves murmuring in soft whispers.

I walk out as soon as I am done and go as fast as I can to my room. God, my life sucks. I finally meet my heroes and they all hate me! Its horrible. So I lay done silently on my bed and do the only thing I can do, cry and with my heart of hearts

just wish myself away. After all, who would ever want to be friends with someone like me?

Sorry for the short, late chapter, I kinda suck at this :/


	11. Chapter 11

After crying, falling asleep and waking up again, I felt more tired than ever before. I kinda remember some distant shouting whilst I slept, though that could have been a dream. After lying awhile, lost in thought, I get up. Slipping from the covers, I walk to my ( well, not really my) door and open it. However, that may not have been the best idea, because *SMACK*...and, Thorin officially is gonna hate me forever. After a suddenly very shocked ( and angry) Thorin comes out of his well, shock, he goes to yell. However I, tired of all this mess, quickly jumps in before he has a chance to open his mouth ( I have come to see that is the best tactic when talking to him). " Hello, I am soooooooo sorry, I really had no idea you were out there, but its kinda good, well not you being whacked in the face and all, but you being here, you see, I kinda really wanna talk to you in private" I do? Yes! I do! I shall talk this out and make it all better. Thorin, still looking angry, but slightly intrigued by my very fast speech spits out " Fine! However if this turns out as just another vicious waste of my time I swear I will-" "-It wont be!" I jump in quickly. Stepping back inside my room I let Thorin in through the door and then close it after him.

He simply stands there, so embarrassed I start " Ok. I just wanted to say-" I take a big deep breath "- sorry" Thorin looks shocked at this. I continue " Sorry, I am so so sorry. Look, I know we have gotten off on the wrong foot ( he looks confused at this) but I really want you to like me". ( He snorts at this). "No! Seriously! I like idolise you! You are amazing! I grew up with stories of you! All of you!-" I gestured outside "-You guys are all like heroes! And we dont have that back home. Where I come from its just boring, learn, work, kids, die. No adventure. No fighting goblins, or trolls, or rock giants, or dragons, just, same thing, same people, everyday, always. And it sucks! Ive always wanted to travel, but travelling back home takes money, a lot of it. Anyway I grew up with you guys, you taught me things, even if you never met me. Determination. Loyalty. Kinship. I heard about how you fought with you family. Your friends. How joked and rode together and I wanted the same thing. Maybe I over romanticised it in my head, made things up, but I have always have had this glowing image of you. And...I'm sorry. I just don't know whats going on. I'm everywhere. I can't think strait. I don't understand. Magic is not real where I come from, so I just can't understand being here. I feel insane. Torn in two. And I'm sorry for being so annoying...and mean, I just can't control myself...and I don't know why..."

I dropped to my knees...why? And of course I was crying, damnit! Thorin looked at me for a second, his yes unreadable. Then, slowly, he dropped to his kneels. He laid a hand on my should, then quickly, swift as a snake, .picked me up. Why does everyone keep doing this?! He held me for a while and I cried, I tried not to, but we all know how well thats been going lately. Sigh. He muttered something. Ayyyy mate! That is soooo not English! Breath. I wiped away the last of my tears and ...ew...snot...shudder...on my sleeve, again, ewww and looked up at him. Whoops, I think I may have ruined his coat. Nice going Ashley, no better way to get people to like you than to defile their clothing, anyway, not the point. I look at him. He looks back. There is silence. I open my mouth and go to talk, " I-" , but Thorin interrupts me "It's ok".

I blinked. Say whaaaa? He clears his throat " I know I have been rather, suspicious, and whilst I shall not apologise for that, I will admit I was wrong in my actions. I should not have treated as I did. it was unkind, especially after what you have been through", he sighs, " I have treated you cruelly and not have helped as I should have.". I have a soft, sad sounding giggle "I's ok, I've been rather rude after all-" he interrupts me though " You need not apologise. You are a child, wether you agree with that or not-" he gave me a look as I opened my mouth in protest, "-and elf or not, children should be protected. I have acted, rather shamefully, in my treatment of you-'' again I go to protest but he continues "- and I intend to make up for it. I cannot say I fully believe your story-" he frowns a bit at this "-still, I do believe something has happened to you." he finishes. Well, I guess its better than nothing. I smile a bit and hold him tighter. "So we're ok?". "We are all good" he says softly, and simply rocks me for what could be a forever until..."Finally!" says a voice for the door. I feel Thorin turn at brake-kneck speed, but the speaker is already long gone down the hall. Exchanging chuckles and comment with the others.

AN: I know its ridiculously short and I have left updating so long no one may actually still be reading, but I aim to be more constant in my updates. Actually, I am writing the next chap now! (;


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